Was talking with Dov recently, and he mentioned something about how it's reasonable to extrapolate tastes that people have based on the folks with whom they play. As an example : one might safely extrapolate that I'm a heavy bottom, based on the fact that I'm often characterized as an edge player. Some of us play with monsters - some *are* monsters. I can't recall his exact words - but the concept of 'monster' struck me as something about which to write.
I definitely play with (and Relate to) monsters. Monsters can see me - they are stronger than I . Monsters aren't afraid to hurt me - to make me cry. Only a Monster would enjoy tying me up, hitting me hard enough to cause bruising, and then fuck me so hard I'm screaming. Monsters are relentlessly persistent - they don't particularly 'care' if I say it hurts, because that's what they want... for me to feel, right? Granted, not all versions of Monsters are right for me... and I'm not right for all versions of Monsters. Thankfully there are myriad versions of Monster.
Jung might suggest that "Monster" is a variant of the Shadow - that part of our selves which is of sex and instincts - a part of our selves which is hidden and unknown. Shadow implies darkness... it implies chaos and the unknown. For some reason, we have a tendency as a culture to extrapolate this to 'wrong' or 'evil'.
I see it as Wrath.
In the West (read that as monotheistic cultures), wrath has been conflated to mean some terrifying, angry God, who sweeps in and creates shit like the 2004 Tsunami or HIV as a way to punish bad people and sinners. I'm being highly reductionist here, and I hope you get the jist of what I'm communicating.
In the East (read this as polytheistic cultures), wrath has a very different meaning. Take Kali for Example. No - not Kali of Kink Academy, although Princess Kali can be one evil Monster.... Kali: The Dark Mother. Kali is one heck of a Monster. She is often shown with her foot on Shiva's chest, having bested him in battle. This is a big deal, because Shiva is the destroyer god - the shadow of the holy trinity in Hinduism (trines show up all over the place, don't ya know). If you don't know already, Shiva is generally represented by a lingam (cock). Yup - Kali tromps on cock. She also cuts through the illusion of time. Talk about a Monster.
In Buddhism there is a delightful fellow known as Padmasambhava. Among his other talents, he is the medicine Buddha. He's the ultimate Healer. Look at his picture. Doesn't he seem nice? He's comfortably sitting on his lotus, offering healing light. Ahh - how sweet. Can't you imagine curling up at this One's lotus, feeling the bliss of divine love, and just being all... happy?
If something is off, our friend Padmasambhava transforms into his wrathful manifestation, and becomes a monster: sometimes depicted with a horse-head, my Teacher shared with me that this manifestation literally cuts through disease and dis ease.. that the wrath of this particular god is akin to a surgeon taking a knife, cutting open a leg, and removing a tumor.. it's necessary to be wrathful at times.
So Wrath isn't necessarily about some judge saying "you're wrong!" and then punishing me. It's about a divine manifestation of Truth -showing up to help me cut away parts of my self I don't need or aren't serving me. Wrath is a way for me to open up parts of me that I might not otherwise be able to on my own
Again - I'm being highly reductionist, and I hope you understand my communication.
Now, getting back to Monsters in the scene: heavy tops who are known to push boundaries and to press their bottoms in ways difficult to imagine without experiencing. You know who I'm talking about - monsters who hurt - who See - and who have made peace with the pleasure they take in causing pain... People with reputations.
I adore Monsters..... especially when I can see them in their peaceful manifestation. [Side note here - I have a theory that this is one reason aftercare is important for some bottoms].
As for little old me? I know a Monster is right for me, because at some point, I'm screaming "Oh god! Oh god!, " and in that moment, I mean it.