Monday, August 22, 2011

Have You Ever...

Here's another way to consider the supposition that people aren't ready to explore BDSM if they need the class Rigger jay suggests here.

Have you ever...

  1. Done a Google search for yourself and found a post or picture you would prefer your employer (or lover, family and/or friends) not see?
  2. Been the victim of identity theft?
  3. Joined an online dating site, such as Match, eHarmony, or Collar Me?
  4. Misrepresented yourself online
  5. Really? never?  Not even lied about your weight or height?
  6. Lied on a resume?
  7. Trusted someone to do something for you, but they didn't come through?
  8. Hired someone you regretted?
  9. Had someone draw a boundary with you?  Maybe they asked you to stop calling - or broke up with you - Maybe they told you they would like you to be on time, rather than tardy?
  10. Gone out on a blind date?
  11. Do you know the current research/standards for safer sex?
  12. Met an asshole?
  13. Met a total bitch?
  14. BEEN the asshole or bitch?
  15. Hugged someone, only to find out later that they didn't want you to?
  16. Liked someone, but they didn't like you back?
  17. Felt awkward around asking someone out?
  18. Had challenges in expressing how you like to be fucked?
  19. Held?
  20. Kissed? 
  21. Did you follow the links on questions 3 and 4?

Does the fact that you've met an asshole make you an expert at recognizing them?

Does the fact that you've crossed a line with someone in the past (question 9), mean that you will never do so in the future?

Yes or no, the way that you answer these questions only speaks to what has happened in your past and what you know up to now.  The answers don't speak at all to how you might find yourself in the future - or what mistakes you might make.

This, my friends, is why it's important to continue to grow and to learn, and why, IMO, the supposition that a person who isn't already an expert in recognizing a douchenozzle has no place in BDSM is hogwash.

It has less to do with what you already know and more to do with what you are willing to learn.