Friday, January 4, 2013

It's not / It's all -- about you

Good morning, lovelies.  


I have news to share today: it's not about you.  It really isn't.  All the stuff people do to/ pull on you?  Not about you, and yet, it's ALL about you.  Yes, folks.  We live in a paradox.  Let me spell it out.




Someone cuts you off in traffic? - that's NOT about you
You stay with the anger that arises in response?  - that's ALL about you

Someone is late for a date? - that's NOT about you
You judge them as inconsiderate? - that's ALL about you

Someone breaks a promise to you? - that's NOT about you
You raise your voice and yell at them in response? - that's ALL about you

Someone tells you they love you? - that's NOT about you
You enjoy your loving feelings towards someone? - that's ALL about you

Someone confides in you? - that's NOT about you
You break/honor the confidence? - that's ALL about you

Someone crosses a boundary of yours? - that's NOT about you
You remain silent about the crossing? - that's ALL about you

Someone posts something? - that's NOT about you
You identify with the post?  - that's ALL about you

Someone is verbally hostile towards you? - that's NOT about you
You feel afraid in response? - that's ALL about you




Let me flip this so you can see the mirror:
You cut someone off in traffic? - that's ALL about you
Someone flips you the bird in response? - that's NOT about you

You're late for a date? - that's ALL about you
Your date says that you're inconsiderate? - that's NOT about you

You break a promise to someone? - that's ALL about you
Someone yells at you in response? - that's NOT about you

You tell someone you love them? - that's ALL about you
Someone expresses enjoying loving feelings toward you? - that's NOT about you

You confide in someone? - that's ALL about you
They break/honor the confidence? - that's NOT about you

And so on.....



Here's the thing, and this is a very VERY important thing.  

Nobody can take your peace without your consent.  
Nobody can make you feel one way or another without your consent.

You cannot love a person - only enjoy your loving feelings towards them.
You cannot hate a person - only enjoy your hatred towards them. 

Your feelings are solely in your power to change
Your actions are solely in your power to change
Your thoughts are solely in your power to change
Regardless of the cause.


Namaste,

Bendy


1 comment:

  1. I think I've become much more in-tune with this concept since working in Emergency Medicine. Daily I deal with people who are very upset, scared, angry, or have various levels of psychiatric disorders. If I took everything said to me (and thrown at me, etc.) personally, I would have crumbled a long time ago (probably as an EMT.) It's taken a while, but it's bled (heh) over to how I interpret experiences in my personal life too. Of course, I'm not perfect and do still blame myself a lot, but at least now I'm aware of this view as one of the options.

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